Last night is the first time that I had a dream about dad since he passed away. Incidentally, this is the time when the deceased first come back to visit the family in Taiwanese culture/religion (first seven).
In the dream dad told me that he is very worried about whether I can be a good father and take good care of my kids, particularly Alyssa given her hospitalization incident when she was little. This is exactly what I expect he would say if he can talk to me. Maybe I am having some serious self doubt about my parenting ability at this time of reflection.